A Truly Shameless Passenger

I enjoy passenger shaming as much as anyone. I might even go so far as to say that the process is sometimes one of the enjoyable facets of travel, in particular during group transit periods. The thing is, brazenly snapping pictures of brazenly bad behavior is a risky proposition when you’re trapped in a high-altitude, high-speed aluminum tube with any number of potential lunatics. Not to mention that if anything ever really goes south on an airplane and an “altercation” ensues, you’re both gonna go through a bit of a process upon landing. Maybe I’m just not gutsy enough with the camera, but the guy that occupied the aisle seat on our flight across the pond really would’ve warranted video documentation to do any proper justice.

Let’s see, the first clue this guy was going to be a pain was when he tossed his jacket over the seat, making the sleeve drape over her and did not seem concerned by that in the slightest. Before taxiing, he started a VERY loud phone conversation, such that anybody within several rows was thoroughly familiar with just how wonderful his Saturday was. After finishing the call, he started to text, and I thought to myself that maybe he’s being polite now, but then he started dictating the text loudly. Really Loudly. And Really Slowly. But here’s the thing: phone calls and dictated text can be zoned out fairly easily while reading or whatever. They’re mostly one-way communication to bystanders. I think our friendly neighbor was insufficiently satisfied with the reaction (or lack thereof) from fellow passengers ignoring him, so I guess he decided to step it up a notch or two with a couple of really really loud Facetime calls. He even said on one of the calls that they hadn’t personally told him to get off the phone so he was going to stay on until they did. That was the beginning of the flight. As soon as the seat belt light went off, he stood up, took off his shoes and socks, bent over with his butt right at face level and took off his pants, leaving just a pair of small loose jogging shorts. From that point, he tried to work on his laptop, which apparently required two armrests. A row of three people has only four armrests though, so only one person is going to get two armrests. That person should be the person in the middle seat. I think most people know this. Just not the guy who at one point pulled out a giant tube of toothpaste and started vigorously running his fingers over his teeth and then spit into a plastic bag that he stuffed into his seat pocket. We couldn’t get off the plan fast enough when we touched down in Lisbon.

Portugal hasn’t met us with many surprises yet. You form an idea of a place from pictures, and so far Lisbon has conformed with a lot of those preconceptions. It’s very multicultural, with distinct European and Mediterranean elements along with some visible African influences. Everyone has been very friendly, if at times a little hurried. After getting checked into our apartment in downtown Lisbon, we took a bus ride to Belem. It’s a small historic coastal town with a few sites relevant to the age of discovery. Walking around there reminded me just a little bit of historic Saint Augustine in Florida. The main attraction there for us was a pastry shop that’s been open since the early 1800’s called Pasteis de Belem. We saw these little egg custard tarts/mini-pies around at every bakery we passed, but this is basically the original. A line for take away wraps around the block at times. We dined in and then got some more for take away. The pastries look like they’d be little pies but they’re really different from what you’d expect. When fresh and hot, the outside is almost like a brulee thick enough to hold it together. They’re absolutely amazing. It’s one of those reminders that you just can’t take the world with you…. You have to go to it yourself. Those pastries just aren’t the same cooled down or reheated.

We’re gonna try to visit Sintra today and I’ll post updates as we’re able.